somethinginthewoodshed #19 (featuring portals of london, mad maps, 2017 is finally over, and Busby Berkeley)
Salut 2018 slags,
I think we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief that the relentless global dumpster fire of 2017 is over. Even if it wasn't personally catastrophic, and I consider myself fortunate that mine wasn't, it was globally a nightmare, lurching from natural disaster to political chaos to completely cretinous decisions from the (mostly) men in power. I know that they're all still there, spectres lurking in the shadows, but the brisk and heavy rain drenching San Francisco feels like a mental palate cleanser before we launch into the potential shitshow of 2018. To be honest I was a little more optimistic before the presidential penis comparison and, like, genius displays of maturity and tact.
The winding down months of the year were a maelstrom of unexpected emotions for me that threatened to swallow me whole. Which is why I didn't write, haven't been writing, have felt like a nightmare that got bottled by the BFG and was sitting in a cave pulsing with a dangerous energy. Anxiety can go eat a bag of bees for all I care, anniversaries of shitty events can get in the sea, it's time to make that anger useful.
All of which is to say that a very obvious thing I can do is be less of a dick to myself, be a little kinder, a little more supportive. The start of a new year is always ripe for thought and reflection, and something that occurred to me the other day is that I want to spend time writing for me again. That was always the aim of these scattered. Somehow life (ahem, capitalism) got in the way and I found I could only make time for writing I was earning money doing. There are many, many blessings in my new job (bitching aside) - one of the main ones being that I am not scrabbling around for money in the same way that I was. I thoroughly enjoyed the writing I did for money, but it took mental time and energy away from me writing more freely. One of the writers I admire enormously (whose work is featured in this woodshed) recently started charging for her newsletter, which is actually what spurred me into realising how I had stopped writing for pleasure. She hasn't, she has built a wonderful voice writing about her passions and no longer wants to give that work away, which I respect. I just want to listen to myself a bit better and work out what I want to write. All of this is a looooooong way of saying hi! I missed you all! I'm going to be writing monthly essays that I share in this, and fuck it, I'd love to take requests!
I'll stop boring you now and pass you over to this little smorgasbord of written and visual treats.
Late Nights Online
I'm a big fan of Helena Fitzgerald's writing. She's really fucking good at it, and this essay about AIM being shut down resonated with me. So much of my life online between 1995-2003 was hanging out in chat rooms talking about mythology, lying my little face off to strangers I would never meet, lying my little face off to strangers I would meet, and snog, and become lifelong friends with. I've written about this before, but I feel a general and powerful sadness at what the internet has become. Back in the fuzzy grungy 90's I had no idea that what was a portal to fascination and wonder is now a global tracking system hungry for attention and capital (oh look! I wrote about that too). I too felt a pang of sadness at the shutting down of AIM (1997-2017, RIP)
Portals of London
I'm back on my portal bullshit again. This blog is such a delight! I've been luxuriating in strange tales of temporal anomalies, sealed spells, and this particular tale about the Quaerium on the Strand. If this sort of esoteric occultism appeals, I can't recommend the Antony Clayton book 'Secret Tunnels of England' enough. Unfortunately, I sat on sending this out for too long and now the bloody Guardian have written about it and stripped me of my 'first to find esoteric blogs' title. Wankers.
Unused Jonathan Glazer ad for Cadbury's Flake
This is honestly one of my favourite things I've seen on the internet. Jonathan Glazer, of Guinness ad fame, Sexy Beast, and Under the Skin, was commissioned by Cadbury's to make an ad for Flake. It Features the inimitable French actor Denis Lavant as a leather-clad Satan who tempts—and rewards—a group of women with a handful of Flakes, who then perform fellatio on them. It's bonkers, I love it, maybe Kraft wouldn't have bought out Cadbury's if they'd run with this ad?
A Vast, 430-Year-Old World Map, Full of Places and Creatures, Real and Imagined
Do you love MAPS? Turns out at Stanford there's this brilliant map of the world featuring real and imagined beasts!
"the map shows a lush, highly personalized take on the world, with a surprisingly large collection of real and fantasy beasts carousing and cavorting on land and sea. Rumsey’s scan and digital assembly of the cartographic puzzle represents the first time that Monte’s work has been seen in its full glory: It is the single largest world map of the 16th century, and one largely forgotten or overlooked by cartographers and scholars."
If anyone wants a lil road trip down to Stanford to see it in all its glory, lmk! If that's a little too much of a schlep, roam around this digital version instead.
Busby Berkeley
I can't believe I've been writing this for almost two years and haven't told you all how much I freaking LOVE Busby Berkeley! I have lost hours, days, basking in the hypnotic and kaleidoscopic wonder of his choreographed visions. Berkeley was responsible for some of the most complex and technical choreographed dances of the golden age of cinema. This little documentary gives some background (and features John Waters)
However, if you don't want to kick back for 17 minutes watching that, please, watch this. It's so good it might make your eyes fall out and roll all over the floor and then come back. The sheer scale and imagination are just sublime.
With that surrealist flourish, peace out peaches x x